Welcome back, Mamas.
This world is very often telling us that our value comes from our achievements, the grades we get, the awards we receive, the attention we get, and the level of income we provide.
We have been raised this way, believing this is right and this is how it should be. Status, merit, and praise through this measure of success and validation. Validation through, annual KPIs or a pay rise to assure us of ‘a job well done'.
Its this external validation that often gives us our sense of self. If we are not acknowledged by the people and systems we are encased in, who are we then, and what then of our essential worth and value?
Considering this, where do we stand as we enter motherhood?
When we are used to having this type of external validation out in the world, in our jobs, the transition to motherhood can lead us to expect this validation we were used to to then come from our partner to retain that sense of value for all our efforts.
This week I spent some time with Nathalie Biviano who swapped suits and heels to be a stay-at-home-mama which created an immense identity grapple and caused marital tension.
Previously working in the corporate world, and really thriving in that role, Nathalie enjoyed the measure of her value by those usual metrics.
But upon becoming a mother and wife her gauge and regular markers disappeared, which caused her to then turn to her partner for the acknowledgment she so desperately needed, looking for that same level of validation from him for all her effort that went unseen in her new role as wife and mother.
But it wasn't there.
Join Nathalie and I as we discuss the challenges of this huge transition through her own experiences and reflections on the path to finding her essential value and sense of self where it really resides… on the inside. Our intrinsic value as living beings with this essential role. Nathalie believes women are the leaders and healers of the home, and when they’re firm and solid in their own values and voice and have powerful self-coaching tools, women will change the world.
I really hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did making it.
Take that moment, and enjoy.
[0:00] – Acknowledgements
[0:40] – Introduction
[2:55] – Welcome, Nathalie Biviano
[5:32] – Wife and Mother
[6:54] – External Validation
[9:11] – Not Acknowledged, Not Seen
[10:30] – The Side Hustle
[12:20] – Needs Outside the Home
[14:00] – Pain Pushes, Vision Pulls
[16:00] – Looking to our Partners
[18:00 ]- “Look how capable she is”
[20:40] – “I don't know what I'm doing”
[23:10]- The Ultimate Gift
[24:00] – Communicate what you need
[26:57] – Cellular Confidence
[32:03] – Masculine/Feminine
[36:00] – Showing Up in the Moment
[40:00] – Integrity Tax
[41:37] – A Beautiful Reminder
Nathalie Biviano is a trauma-informed life coach, specializing in navigating marriage after babies. She’s also a Mama Rising Facilitator, a Matrescence activist, and a published author. She holds a bachelor’s degree in communication.
Find her here: https://mamarising.net/facilitator/nathalie-biviano/
and here: https://www.instagram.com/spinetinglingmarriage/
The Mama Rising Facilitator training is open for enrolment RIGHT NOW. This is an incredible opportunity to become a certified Mama Rising Facilitator in 2023, and teach and share the ground-breaking insight of Matrescence with the world.
Visit https://mamarising.net/mama-rising-2023/ to find out more.
Catch the full presentation on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2w6aH5l-LE&t=841s
Within these conversations, we change the way mothers are valued and seen in our society and spread the whispers of Matrescence together.
I'm a matrescence activist - here to revolutionise the way you feel about yourself as a mama, and transform the way the world values and supports all mothers, everywhere.
Understanding what matrescence is and how to navigate it is like being
handed a map.
Once you've got the map, the journey gets easier... and really, really exciting. Because it’s the making of you.
Get your Matrescence Map here - a six-page ebook which will empower you to understand why you feel the way you do, and the first steps to take.
Plus, receive updates on my podcast, programs, events and latest teachings every week.